King Gormander, son of glorious Pikemead, grand patron of the Revelwood and Springlands, watches over all. His vigilant gaze unites us as one, shields us from calamity and ushers us into a new age of prosperity.

King Gormander's latest addition to Pikemead's Reach is, in my opinion, a disgrace — and the pathetic attempt of a man with timbered teeth to reach his mother's levels of adoration. It's a narrative more shallow than White Wind's waters. Last summer, our lord's attempt to rename the Imperial Gardens to "Gormander's Gardens" was foiled by civil unrest. Instead, we've since been blessed with a statue of his likeness. The statue's gaze is as stiff and paralyzed as our ruler's disposition to the brewing troubles in the North. The grandest thing about Gormander, next to his treasury, is his wooden overbite. — Ramone Jones, editor of The Pike Weekly.