Remember our three rules for workplace safety and productivity: 1. Follow the schedule! 2. Lift with your legs, not your back! Support each other with heavy cargo! 3. In case of elevator malfunctioning, report to the shift overseer! (The fine print reads: If you're early, you're on time. If you're on time, you're late. If you're late, you're fired. No paid overtime. Fruit basket refilled biweekly.)

The 8 and a half bell peppers we're allotted every two weeks don't cut it. Are bell peppers even fruits?